New Year's

It is now New Year's Eve. I am not going out this year. Vinnie is working so I am having a quiet night at home.

My eating lately hasn't been wise. Today it was better. I put thought into my choices and feel better about it. I still have a long way to go before I can say I have my eating habits under control. It's a constant struggle, especially when each day is different. There is no set schedule since I am not going to work.

We are leaving for Texas early Monday morning. Mom and I both love to cook and share recipes with each other. She is already buying the ingredients to make my glazed salmon steaks. We aren't sure what we will be serving with it at this time but I am sure we will come up with something.

My blog tonight is short. Happy New Year to everyone!

Christmas is Over

I missed several days of blogging due to everything going on over Christmas. On Christmas Eve we went to my newly adopted daughter and her family. Their daughter had purchased something for me at her school and April had an old picture of her mother, me, and my 2 daughters that she wanted to give me. She had placed it in a nice frame that said, Friends are Forever. I couldn't have wanted anything better. My sister gave me a beautiful stepping stone that said the same thing. She said I could put in in the ground next to the front porch in memory of my friend. I do miss her.

We ate sandwiches on Christmas Eve since I started my cooking processes for the holiday dinner. On Christmas day we had a couple friends join us for dinner. We had ham, sweet potato casserole, macaroni & cheese, cranberry sauce with whole cranberries, green beans with almond slivers, corn, and rolls. For dessert I made a cherry almond roll and chocolate meringue pies. Needless to say, we had leftovers for dinner yesterday.

We drove to NC yesterday to visit my family. We met for lunch at a restaurant called Cheddar's. I had never heard of it before but it was a good choice. The ribs there were fantastic. Then we went to my sister's and visited with her and my brother a little longer before returning home.

Today is Sunday and everyone is home today. It's a rare occasion when we are all home and have no plans. I am looking forward to doing nothing all day with them.

December 23

The day went by pretty fast. I am still frustrated over the prescription service. How am I to handle my sugar if I have no meds? What good is a plan that doesn't allow you get your meds when you need them? So frustrating.

I ate my healthy cereal and then later picked up some cheeseburgers with fries and onion rings for dinner. Somehow it just didn't matter to me. I know better and I want to eat the right things but sometimes it is just easier to eat the wrong things.

Tomorrow I go grocery shopping again. I will be spending most of my day preparing things for Christmas Dinner. The whole thing about Christmas is depressing to me. If I had the money to really make others happy then I would be happy but we don't. There are so many that are hungry, a family that was burned out of their home just this week, elderly that are lonely and cold, so many that need what we take for granted. I don't like buying gifts for fun when the money could be used to help those that are needy. I think that is why I get so depressed at Christmas. I see all the money being spent in all the stores and then I see a place like the Carriage House where their residences have no money. All of their disability checks and medicaid go to stay at the home. Half of the residence have no family to help them and the other half have family who are too poor to help them. Who is going to make their Christmas a joyous one?

There are many of these cases where people reach out during Christmas and that is great. But what about the rest of the year?

Frustrated

I stayed up really late last night and therefore slept in really late today. I checked my fasting sugar to find that it is still staying in the low 200's. Then I go to the mailbox and found 1 bottle of meds out of 6. Medco is at it again. I ordered 1 prescription for my husband and 5 for me, 3 being my diabetic medicine. I have been out for several weeks now and can't even get an act of congress to make Medco send the meds.

I called them immediately to find out why I only received 1 and held on for a while as the lady kept trying to figure out what was going on. I finally got so aggravated I told her to cancel ALL of our prescriptions and send the written prescriptions back to me that I was DONE with Medco. As of January 1 we will be able to go to CVS with our prescriptions instead of mailing them off to them. So we will wait another week or so and then go pick up our prescriptions from CVS. That is, IF Medco can figure out how to mail the prescriptions back. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Needless to say I did not cook. Instead we went to Applebee's where I ordered their Rueben Sandwich. I ate half of it and the fries and I was full. That was at 5:00 and now I am hungry again. I will probably make a sandwich in a little while and call it a night.

I think I will call Medco every day and pitch a fit until they can tell me that my prescriptions have been mailed back to me. If they continue to hold them then it will be that much longer before we can get them filled and by then, we will be out of the rest of our meds.

Coq au Vin

Today was another good day. I ate my healthy cereal combination for breakfast and went to Ruby Tuesday's with a friend for lunch. We both ate from their salad bar and drank water with lemon. We had intentions of exercising but the only exercise we actually did was walking from the car to the stores, through the stores, and back to the car.

I returned home just barely in time to have supper ready before my husband had to leave for work. The chicken had been marinating for 24 hours and now it was time to complete the meal. Coq au Vin is a bit time consuming to cook but once plated and served, we realized it was well worth it. The chicken was very tender, the flavor was unique with the combination of wine, garlic, thyme, and parsley. Then I added tomato paste, chicken stock, crisp bacon, mushrooms, and pearl onions. I kept humming the yum sound while I ate.

Vinnie really liked it too and suggested I cook it again although he is not a big fan of mushrooms. The Pappardelle pasta that I served with it was a perfect side item.

I still haven't finished my Christmas shopping but know exactly what I am going to buy. Hopefully tomorrow I will be able to pick that up with some wrapping paper and then start wrapping the presents.

I have had all my meals selected a day or two before until now. My mind is totally blank. I have no idea what I will cook tomorrow night. We have had chicken a couple of times and one veggie night so I need to find some sort of beef or pork dish. Maybe it will come to me soon.

Calm and Happy

Tonight was homemade veggie pizza. I am not a big fan of pizza normally but found that I really enjoy my version of a veggie pizza. I simply roll out the refrigerated pizza dough to fit the pan, prick it with a fork and bake it for about 5 minutes. Then I top it with pizza sauce and sprinkle a little garlic salt on it before I begin topping it with fresh onions, bell peppers, mushrooms, and Roma Tomatoes. Then sliced black olives and banana peppers are added along with chopped fresh oregano and Italian Seasoning. Lastly, I add shredded Mozzarella and Sharp Cheddar cheese. The pizza is rich with flavor but not greasy and isn't harsh on the stomach.

Tomorrow is Coq au Vin, a recipe I saw on Food Network yesterday. It requires marinating the chicken for 24 hours so I prepared the marinate as instructed and the chicken is now marinating. Coq au Vin is a French braised chicken with Lardons (fat), mushrooms, and sometimes garlic. This recipe uses bacon for the Lardon and does include garlic. Unfortunately the marinate is a combination of red wine, garlic, and fresh herbs. Today being Sunday, I was unable to purchase a bottle of wine. Crazy I know but that is the south for you. Fortunately we had a bottle of Rose Wine on hand so I had to improvise with it.

My mood has been calm and happy the last few days. Finally having days off where I can focus on things I love, like my family and cooking, is the cause. I wish I could afford to not go back to work but when February comes, I will have another 4 months on the job before beginning my next seasonal break.

My Hobby

Sometimes when I develop new recipes on my own, I can't be sure they will turn out as I had imagined. Sometimes, like last night, it turns out even better than I had hoped.

Today is moving slowly. I had a couple slices of toast with Promise Light for breakfast and had some milk with it. I have been watching the Food Network for the past couple of days. The problem with trying to get new ideas from them is that they are all making "holiday" meals with lots and lots of sweets at this time.

Sunny Anderson made something yesterday that I am going to try but it will have to be tomorrow. The meat needs to marinate for 24 hours so when I go to the store in a bit, I will purchase the ingredients I need and start the marinating process this afternoon.

I am having a hard time figuring out what to cook today. I may make a veggie pizza. I made that one time before and it was really good. Then again, I may get to the store and see something else I will want to prepare.

I am not quite sure why I love cooking and experimenting with new recipes so much. I guess this is what people mean by "having hobbies". I have never really had one that I enjoyed this much. I crochet and do some basic knitting but not enough to keep it up. I know how to sew and have even created my own patterns but there again, not enough to keep it up. I started scrapbooking once but never finished the first book. But when it comes to food and cooking, I am there. I have collected top grade cookware and other kitchen utensils. I have all sorts of kitchen gadgets for just about any need one can have. I spend time designing my own recipes and trying ones I read about or see on TV. I think I would be perfectly happy if I was literally cooking all day every day. Yep, this is definitely MY hobby.

Salmon for Dinner

Saturday morning and I just had my bowl of cereal. I am sitting here thinking about my day, going shopping after dinner tonight and preparing a nice dinner I have planned.

I have some fresh salmon steaks and will make a glaze for them out of Captain Morgan's Rum and molasses. I made that glaze one time before and it was delicious so now it is a favorite of mine when cooking salmon. Just mix the two with equal proportions.

With the glazed salmon I am serving a sweet salad, mixed salad greens topped with small pieces of watermelon, strawberry slices, and kiwi. Next add walnuts and dried french onion. Finally dress it with raspberry vinaigrette. The combination of flavors will certainly stimulate the pallet.

Next I have some fresh ciabata bread that I will slice and grill until toasted. Then I'll saute fire roasted red peppers with fresh garlic, oregano, and shallots in a little olive oil. Once sauteed, I will top the ciabata bread with it, add a little crumbled feta cheese and put it in the hot oven just long enough to melt the feta.

Now we have a wonderful meal with something cool and sweet, something tangy and something savory. I can't wait.

I was really surprised to find that red peppers have more vitamin C than oranges and they go so well with many things. I cook them when sauteing green beans and it provides a very colorful dish that is healthy and delicious.

Salmon is one of the seafoods that provides the good fish oil we need as well as protein. With this meal the ciabata bread provides the carbs, salmon and walnuts provide the protein, the greens and redpeppers provide the veggies, and the fruits provide ... well the fruit. Then we have the dairy with the feta cheese. I would call that a nice balanced meal. Not too much of anything but just enough of everything.

Finally Chicken

Today was one of the most relaxing and enjoyable day I have had in a while. I spent the day watching Food Network (I really learn a lot from that network) and getting ideas for news things to cook.

Tonight was the Italian Chicken I talked about yesterday. Mmmmmm it really is delicious. I actually don't care much for chicken breasts because it tends to be dry and doesn't hold much flavor for me. I would much prefer the darker meats like the legs and thighs. But this particular method is a true exception.

With the chicken we had herb seasoned whole grain wild rice and French cut green beans with almond slivers. I left the table feeling good about what I had eaten. Between the healthy cereal meal, a banana for a snack, a lean ham sandwich on whole wheat bread with mustard and cheddar cheese for lunch, and then supper, I knew that my entire consumption today was much better than it use to be.

I still haven't done anything about exercising. I think I will wait and work that in next week. It will give me a few days to actually rest, which is something I rarely do.

Feeling Better

Today is Friday and I decided to weigh and check my fasting sugar again. My weight was 317 (3 lbs down from the other day) but my sugar was still 227. I can't wait for my meds to arrive so I can get my sugar back under control.

Mail Order Prescriptions are a pain in the rear. The insurance we have requires us to use this service which means we must buy our medicines 3 months at a time. I mailed in all the new prescriptions from our last doctor's visit and found out that our share of the cost was over $600.00. I told them no way and asked them to simply record the prescriptions in the computer and I would go online and order the ones we had to have right now and then order the others later when they were needed. Simple right? NOT.

They informed me they would have to cancel the prescriptions and mail the ones I didn't want back to me. So now when I need them I have to mail them in again and wait another 2 weeks for them to arrive and be processed. Whatever happened to walking up to the drug store and getting a single months supply when you needed it? This program is the reason we never have our meds when we need them. Right now I am out of 3 of my diabetic medications (I take 5). No wander my sugar is up again.

Luckily CVS has bought out the prescription program so after January 1 we will be able to go to an actual drug store again. But that is 2 weeks away and we are out of meds now. As frustrating as it is, all we can do is wait the 2 weeks and then hopefully our meds will be available when we need them for a change.

I will have my healthy bowl of cereal for breakfast. I really enjoy that. It is cold, crunchy, sweet, nutty, etc. Even the flax seeds add a nutty flavor to the mix. Supper will be early today. My husband starts night shift tonight so I will have it ready before he leaves.

No Chicken Tonight

Sometimes the best of intentions just do not realize. I ate the eggs and toast for breakfast and then pulled together some paperwork that I needed to take care of. I then delivered it to the daughter of my friend who passed away last week. After that I went to the grocery store and purchased things needed to make the chicken as well as a couple other healthy meals. Drove home, put the groceries away and relaxed in my recliner.

Finalizing everything I had to do for my friend allowed my emotions to flow freely and I found myself fighting the pain of losing her. My husband was wonderful, gave me the hugs that were needed and told me not to worry about cooking. So I didn't. Instead, he made me a couple of banana sandwiches and called that supper. Later in the evening I was hungry so I decided to have a bowl of Cheerios with walnuts and blueberries, fat free milk, and a couple spoonfuls of milled Flax Seed.

Cheerios are made from oats and oats help lower cholesterol. Blueberries (and other berries) are very healthy and high in antioxidants. Blueberries are believed to help in memory and aging processes. Walnuts are a great source of protein and also provide antioxidants as well as helping to lower cholesterol. Flax Seeds are a natural fiber that helps your body fight cholesterol, diabetes, cancer, heart disease and more.

This combination is as healthy as a breakfast can be (or supper, depending on when I eat it). I like knowing that something I enjoy eating is healthy for me and helps my body fight diseases.

Tomorrow is another day. Perhaps we will have the Italian Chicken then.

Another Day

Good morning everyone. I am sitting here drinking my coffee and contemplating the day. It is the first day in a long time that I have nothing specific I need to do. I feel relaxed and lazy, wanting to take advantage of this time.

I know I will make a trip to the grocery store. I need to stock the kitchen with foods that are appropriate for my goals. If not, I will eat simply what is readily available, a lot of which I should not be consuming. (Chips, cupcakes, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, you know, all the good stuff).

I have been wanting some Italian Chicken so I figure that is what I will cook for supper tonight. It is really simple to make and turns out moist, tender, and flavorful. All you do is marinate boneless, skinless chicken breasts in Italian Salad Dressing for about an hour. Then roll them in Italian Bread Crumbs and place them in a casserole dish. Bake them on 400 degrees for about 45 minutes to an hour and you have a wonderfully delicious chicken breast.

I think some whole grain wild rice will go well with that and then some veggies. That is the hard part for me. Cooked vegetables have never been a desired food for me. At first I couldn't eat them at all but then realized that I couldn't eat them cooked like southern country women cooked them ... to mush. All vegetables growing up were cooked until they were soft. I learned to steam them or at least cook them only until they were beginning to get soft but still had some crunch to them. I have always liked raw vegetables so it made sense that if I left the crunch to the veggies that I would enjoy them more and I do. I actually like broccoli, cauliflower, asparagus, and even some squash now.

I also like fresh produce. Second to that would be frozen. I don't do canned foods at all except for very few exceptions. Canned foods are very unhealthy. They are packed with sodium to help preserve it, sugars, and several chemicals. I realize that even fresh veggies will have traces of chemicals but it is much worse in canned foods. I will decide on the veggie for tonight when I visit the store and see what is available.

I rarely serve bread with my meals. I cut that out a long time ago. If I serve potatoes, rice, or pasta, then bread was not needed. Exceptions to that is when I serve spaghetti or lasagna. I have to have garlic bread, that is a must. The good thing is that I have converted to whole grain pastas, rice, and breads. I try hard not to have anything "white" except for regular potatoes now and then. If I could only curve this need for sweets then my diet really wouldn't be so bad, but I don't know if that will ever happen.

Oh well, it is time to find something for breakfast. The eggs and toast I had yesterday doesn't sound too bad.

So Easy to Forget

So my day tends to go well. My choices for breakfast with what I had on hand wasn't too bad. Salad for lunch instead of burgers was a good start. Dinner at our friends house .... not so good.

We are relaxed, carrying on conversations, enjoying our time with them, so trying to manage what I eat is the furthest thing on my mind. The chicken was tender and juicy with lots of good flavor and cooked in the crock pot. The mashed potatoes were delicious but certainly not the healthiest thing I could have eaten. Nor was the white bread with butter (at least it was Country Crock Light). Then came dessert.

Ah yes, one of my favorite cakes .... Italian Creme Cake. I am a sucker for those and for Carrot Cake. Somehow I need to find the strength to say no to these things in the future.

I hate that too. Some people can enjoy eating whatever they want, whenever they want and not have to worry about gaining weight. I hate having to deprive myself of the foods I enjoy in order to prolong my life. It just doesn't seem fair, but I have to realize I CAN have those things. I just have to enjoy them in moderation and I have to balance my meals so that I can have that without causing major sugar spikes.

Feeding myself just shouldn't be this difficult.

Support

How often is too often to blog? I asked myself that and then realized that if I felt the need to express myself, it couldn't be "too" often. After all, this is all about me.

I ate the breakfast I said was going to have with a glass of fat free milk and found that I was comfortably full. I have been knowing that overeating is something we all do. Every time we sit down at a restaurant we are delivered too much food for one person. I need to start sharing meals with someone or ordering a box with the meal so that I can bring half of it home with me.

Then it became lunch time and I contemplated what to have. I haven't been to the grocery store yet to stock up on the things that are appropriate to eat and we have been invited to dinner with friends of ours. I asked my husband what he wanted for lunch and he was quick to reply "double cheeseburger and some fries from Burger King". I didn't say anything at first. I just sat there and thought about how that wasn't a wise decision. I usually try hard to make my husband happy but this time I didn't give in. I knew he hadn't read my blog yet and he didn't know what I was up to so I simply told him to "read my blog". Then I ordered salads from Zaxby's down the road for each of us.

Drinking a lot of fluids isn't a problem for me. I tend to keep something to drink at hand all the time. Mostly water and green tea. I don't care for the bottled green tea with all the fruit flavors. We make our own green tea just as we would regular tea and we sweeten it with Splenda.

The more water I can consume the better off I will be at losing the weight. Most of us don't understand how important that is but have always heard we need to drink a lot of water. The main reason is, as we lose weight our fat cells turn into fluid and pass through the kidneys. If the kidneys aren't flushed well then the fat cells can store in the kidneys and cause problems. So the more water we drink the more we are flushing our kidneys and the fat cells out of our system.

Time to eat my salad.

Confirmed

The best time to get your true weight is first thing in the morning. You get out of bed, visit the restroom, remove any garments you may have on and weigh. Then you can begin enjoying your cup of coffee and your breakfast.

So I get out of bed, go to the restroom and weigh myself. Then I check my fasting sugar and my blood pressure. Each reading only confirmed how much I have neglected myself and how stupid I have been. I KNOW BETTER!!!

I weighed 320.2 lbs. Now that might not be so bad if I were 6'5" but I'm not. I am 5'4". My fasting sugar was 237. For those of you who don't know, the norm is between 80 and 120. My blood pressure was 126/68 and my pulse was 70.

It is now time to put a plan of action together. I am not quite sure what that will be but I will take one step at a time, one day at a time. For now, I am enjoying my cup of coffee with Sugar Free creamer. I think I will scramble a couple of eggs and make some buttered toast (whole wheat with Promise Lite). From there, we will see what the day brings.

My First Blog

I have never had an interest in blogging before. Never joined any of the sites that are popular until my daughter convinced me to sign up for Facebook. Then I realized that blogging might not be such a bad idea afterall. I love to cook and in this day and time, there are many who don't know how but want to learn or at least try things. I love to teach, so blogging will allow me to put what I know out to the public just in the off chance that it will help someone.

The second reason for all of this is ME. I am now 52 years old, obese, and diabetic. I lost my best friend of 29 years a few days ago and she was a year younger than me. I taught myself how to cook healthier, make healthier choices for myself but lately have not been practicing it. I grew up in the south and learned to cook from the good old southern country women in my life. When I first tried to make healthier choices nothing, I repeat, nothing tasted good. It was a long hard struggle and lots of experimenting to produce healthier meals that I would actually enjoy.

The third reason .... I want a diary of my progress or failure which ever it may be. I want something I can go back and read at a later time to see where my successes were and where my failures were and why. I want to be held accountable to myself.

So here I am, blogging for the very first time and hoping that my journey will help someone, somewhere that is struggling as I am.